WARNING!!!

Ok this is gonna be a bad one so if you get offended STOP READING NOW!!! lol ok its not too bad but here it goes....So if you cheated on your husband for all but 2 years of your 18 year marriage...are you entitled to ANYTHING???? no you arent or atleast you shouldnt be the only thing that you should be entitled to is a spot in HELL thats all you deserve. So if you were to get your EX husbands retirement a portion of it....do you think you deserve it? NO YOU DONT!!!!! You should get the money and either give it to your kids or give it back to him...the one who DESERVES it and WORKED for it!!! If you dont want to give it back to him then give it to your KIDS...the one you PUT THROUGH HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because we all know you dont deserve shit but to be 6 feet under with your fat stupid waste of air husband!!!!! Why would you call to ask if he is retiring WHY!!!!!!!!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY would you be so stupid and so caniving that you conger (dont know how to spell that) up a lie to tell him so that you can find out if you are getting your stupid money that you dont deserve...I wish their was a law that could forbid this from happening...If you are a piece of crap wife and cheat on your husband for years than you are entitled to NOTHING not even a lick of money nothing just get out of our life!!!!!!!!! that would be payment enough! I want to be a law maker that would be bomb but I would be the only one who would make the laws and pass them no one else could have a say in the matter!!! I would give people what they deserve...DEATH! thats all she deserves and obviously I am VERY angry about this and want to hate her well I already do hate her and she knows she isnt my mother she is the woman who carried me in her womb to bring me to my dad thats all! she was never a mother to me just a piece of crap! I dont know im just so angry about this so that is all i am going to say for now!!!

Work

So when would be a good time for me to start looking for a new job? See at my current job which I have been at since I moved to AZ so almost 4 years I have been here and am very dedicated to this stupid job! I hate working here most days but it pays my bills and there is not much else to do in this stupid town so I stay and suffer it through. But anyways that was a little background...So things are not going very well in the construction industry right now and things are really slow so the owner is starting to get scared because if we arent working duh we arent getting money! So he is thinking about selling his shares to some of the people in the company but that basically means that he is giving up so when do I start looking for a new job? Actually this whole town is sucking totally! There arent very many jobs in this town at all so what I want is to move! I dont care where we move anywhere!!!! Actually I would love to move back to Utah but Brian wont so then I suggested that we move to Mesa because that is where Nicole and the girls are but he said no to that too...I asked him why he doesnt want to move and he said because he doesnt want to spend the money to move which I totally understand because it does cost a lot between the uhaul finding a new place and all the deposits it gets kinda pricey but I dont know what to do and when I need to start getting worried and start looking for a new job before it is too late....

So Hard and Sad :(

Ok so Nicole moved this past weekend to Mesa, AZ...Nicole is my sister all of you should know that who are reading this! but ok so they moved it was another sad day because of my nieces Jordynn and Madysenn. Jordynn is big now and she has a personality and talks and knows who I am so it was so sad to say bye to her...she was hugging me and I was like will you call auntie and she was like i call auntie...and then nicole told her to tell me it is gonna be ok and she did but it is so sad...and then mady she is just getting to the age where she is gonna start crawling soon and then walking and then talking...all things I am gonna miss out on again because I missed that stuff with Jordynn because they lived in utah at the time....I mean me and nicole have always been so close growing up so it was really hard to say bye to her we just hugged each other and cried. But I had a brilliant idea that I would leave before them...maybe than it wouldn't be as hard.....well it was hard!!!!!!!!! Me and nicole talk every single day and see each other all the time so it is going to be a huge change to not be able to just say come over or lets go to lunch instead we have to drive 3 and change hours to see each other. Jordynn and Mady are my whole life! I feel so sad without them, atleast I still have Brian but it isnt the same as princesses and sister....but hopefully this move will be good for them and they can get back on their feet get them a house and all that good stuff! so yeah thats all for now...

Here is Jordynn with her baby elmo....

Mady with her drums.....